How to delimit child custody conditions

Issues of child custody conditions can get complicated. Often, parents who are responsible and loving caregivers must now negotiate what’s best for their children’s custody. Families who are interested in keeping things civil and amicable should consider documenting spousal interactions for child custody purposes. But there are certain guidelines to follow to keep records viable for court.

When to Begin Documenting Child Custody Conditions

Documenting child custody conditions is beneficial in very specific cases. Firstly, if partners find, especially during a messy divorce, or during the early stages of a family law case, that they simply cannot communicate at this time, doing so through messages in a notebook may help provide a buffer while still keeping everyone on the same page. Documenting child custody conditions is a fair move in any case but especially if one ex-spouse is threatening legal action, if there is a consistently increasing negative pattern in the child’s behavior after returning from the other parent’s presence, if the other parent fails to keep up with meeting several times in a row or if there is grounds to be concerned for the physical well-being of the child/children. The documentation should include: dates and times visited, topics discussed and the duration of the visit, and whether the interaction was pre-planned or impromptu. Parents making consistent, if possible daily, records in this manner should remember to keep notes fact-based instead of turning to interpretation or introducing an accusatory tone in the description.

A Few Things to Remember Before Creating A Parenting Plan

Also known as a visitation schedule and record, the parenting plan is part and parcel of the custody process. It should be adjusted to reflect each family’s individual style and needs, though adjustments can and should be made for the best interests of the children in the final evaluation. Crafting a detailed parenting plan and documenting child custody conditions in this way doesn’t mean that ex-spouses don’t trust each other to hold to the custody agreements. It simply means that there is a document to refer back to, especially in the case of one parent’s situation changing. The parenting plan can bring up a lot of old emotional issues and wounds so remember that the creation of the plan itself is partially legal and partially personal. It’s best to come to an agreement on child custody conditions because a judge will administer an impartial and standard adjustment to the plan that, quite possibly, inconveniences both parents. And there is a fine line between documenting and “spying”. Don’t use children in a personal fight between an ex-partner. The point of the family law case is to provide predictability, stability, structure and consistency.

Co-parenting is the new and inclusive term for another otherwise entirely modern situation: the moment in which divorced spouses must team up and raise a child that stable and secure, despite the new arrangement and family status. Even if the two ex-partners are on excellent terms and most points are successfully negotiated and settled during mediation, it can be a good idea to hire legal representation to present the case. The truth is that every person present has their own interests so it’s a good idea to keep a third party on hand who can better keep in mind the children’s interests.